Discussion Jump-Start

This section offers discussion leaders a closer look at some of the issues raised in the film, and poses questions to jump-start discussion

As a discussion leader, it may be important for you to know who is participating and to understand in what ways individuals will contribute to the dialogue. Try asking:

• Do you have relatives or friends who were or who currently are incarcerated?
  
  
• Have you ever known anyone who had a loved one in prison? What happened?
  
  
• Is it common for people to hold stereotypes about those who have been incarcerated?
  
  
• Did you have stereotypes about families who have an incarcerated loved one before seeing the film? If so, have any of them changed?
  
  
• What challenges does your family have in common with the Raymonds? How are you different?
  
  
• What are some issues the Raymonds face that are common for other people who have an incarcerated loved one?
  
  
• It is very hard for any family to reach out for help, especially those who feel guilt or shame about their situation. What types of stigmas do you think Becky and/or her children may feel due to Alans incarceration?
  
  
• What are ways that Becky demonstrates that she values her family?
  
  
• How has Alan and Becky’s relationship changed over the years since his incarceration?
  
  
• How have their relationships to their children and extended family changed since Alan’s incareration?
  
  
• What role do animals play in Becky’s life and in the lives of her children?
  
  
• Recall a time when you experienced a period of difficulty. What strengths did you draw on? What strategies did you use? Where did you turn for help? Why? Did that experience change you in any way?
  
  
• What strengths does Becky exhibit in dealing with her predicament?
  
  
• What kinds of resources might help Becky and others facing a similar situation to build on those strengths?
  
  
• Have you had or do you know someone who's had a loved one incarcerated?
  
  
• What impact did this have on their family?
  
  
• What did it do to their mental health, their financial stability, their marriage, their family?
  
  
• What role can families, churches and the community play to help people who are undergoing this kind of crisis?
  
  
• Becky was suddenly plunged into the role of mother, father, and provider once Alan was incarcerated. During your life, have you had to change your life so radically? If so, how did you manage?
  
  
• How is Becky’s current life different from her previous life with Alan?
  
  
• What aspects of their lives do you think have remained the same?
  
  
• What pressures might Becky feel as a wife of a prisoner?
  
  
• Most women with a husband in prison are ashamed to call themselves a prisoner’s wife and prefer to be seen as a single mother. Do you think the term "prisoner’s wife" is appropriate for Becky? Why or why not?
  
  
• How do the challenges faced by a wife of a prisoner compare with those of a single mother? How are they different?
  
  
• Becky doesn’t seem to have a day job. How do you think she is able to support her family?
  
  
• Do you think Becky lives beyond her means? If so, please discuss some examples.
  
  
• Can you think of certain things you would do without if you were in Becky’s situation? What sacrifices would you be willing to make?
  
  
• How many hardships would you be willing to endure, and for how long? Would you wait until your loved one was released from prison?
  
  
• Would you be willing “wait it out” as Becky has despite the overwhelming odds against her families survival? Why or why not?
  
  
• Do you think families with incarcerated loved ones should be assisted in any way by the government? If so, how should the government help these families?
  
  
• Do you feel Donnie and Joshua are being well taken care of given their circumstances? If not, please explain?
  
  
• With over 2 million people in prison in the United States, the number of families enduring similar hardships is increasing. Do you think this special population should be ignored and left to fend for themselves?
  
  
• Do you feel there should be more information in the general public about the hardships these families face?
  
  
• What can communities do to assist the families of the incarcerated?
  
  
• Would you be willing to help out a family in need?
  
  
• Do you think a prisoner should be transferred to the state where their family resides?
  
  
• If Alan were transferred to Georgia from New Hampshire, how would their situation be different?