How has Becky's current situation affected you?

Becky’s situation? It’s hard to watch your daughter be in pain and not be able to help. She reached a point where she just felt so alone, like no one understood what she was going through, and I told her that I did understand and I held her while she cried.

But I didn’t really understand. It’s impossible. It’s like she’s lost her husband just as much as I’ve lost mine. I’ve tried to tell her mine’s not coming back. Yours is. But how do I know that? How does she know he is coming back? He could get injured in jail. He could get injured in prison. Or if he does come back what kind of a man is coming back?

So it hurts me to watch my daughter struggle. I get angry with these telephone bills - astronomical telephone bills. But this is her way of holding her marriage together. So I have to step aside and watch her and the kids go without a lot of things they need in life so that she can hold her marriage together because she believes in her husband and she believes in her marriage, and she knows what kind of man he is.

If I thought he was really able of hurting another human being I wouldn’t have had my husband bail him out of jail. I wouldn’t have had my husband spend hours and hours and hours scouring the Internet trying to find help. But because my daughter believes in her husband - I believe in my daughter.

But it breaks my heart to watch her try to be a father to her children and financially it has hit me. Financially it has hit me hard. I buy the kids clothes for school. I always want to make sure there’s enough food in the house because there’s not always food in the house. It breaks my heart to see their living conditions. But she has got to maintain a marriage - so instead of living in a nicer house she lives in a cheaper house so that she can have a phone marriage and so that she can provide what she can for her children. That makes me mad. That shouldn’t be. That shouldn’t be like that.

Do you think you should have found a better lawyer?

If I had it to do all over again? I wish we would have tried harder to find a better lawyer. I really wish we had because I don’t think any of this would have come about if we had access to better legal representation.

I shouldn’t have left it up to my children. They were adults and here we were in Georgia and they were in New Hampshire and I told my husband “they’re adults, they have to deal with this on their own.” Emotionally they weren’t adults. Someone should have been there. So if they had family support that can help them see a little bit more clearly. Stay by their side, insist, insist on your rights.

Alan and Becky were buffaloed by a district attorney that wanted to chock up another feather in his cap or something. If you have family, fall back on your family. They need you to understand and not be judgmental.

What did you say to Alan once you heard about his crime?

I told Alan off. I told him off in no uncertain terms. He was stupid. He hurt my daughter. He hurt my grandchildren and he hurt himself. But after I told him off then I supported him and that’s what he needs.

There should be more alternative sentencing or other means available to help these individuals that are not a menace to society. Have not robbed, stealed, maimed, or done these terrible other things. He’s not a murderer he shouldn’t be with murderers. He’s not a child molester. He shouldn’t be with child molesters. He’s not a white-collar criminal. Alan’s stupid. He made a stupid mistake. He should have been rehabilitated.

He doesn’t need to be sucking up taxpayer dollars for something of this nature. And I’m not just saying this because he’s my son-in-law. I know what it feels like to have a child molested. I know first hand. And if he had done that there’s no way, no way I would have allowed my daughter to continue on in that kind of a marriage with my blessing or allow my grandchildren to be part of that. But this man is not a menace to society. He doesn’t need to be where he is.

Where did Alan go wrong?

When Alan was first brought in for questioning to the police station he was read his Miranda rights and he was told do you understand these rights? Yes he understood that he had been read the rights. He understood that he had the right to an attorney. No one looked him in the eye and said, “Son you need a lawyer.” He said yes he understood the rights and he went ahead and answered the questions because, first of all, he was drunk, and second of all, he didn’t know he needed a lawyer.

So when he got the lawyer what a lot of people don’t understand is that the lawyer is there to represent you. He’s not there to clear his desk of your name; he’s not there to get you in and out of court and on to the next case. If you don’t like something speak up and say so. And when you’re standing in front of the judge and if the judge says to you do you think your lawyer treated you fairly. You’re going to jail son so you might as well speak it up.

Alan should have said "No, I wasn’t treated fairly." He didn’t dare say it because he was intimidated by the legal process. He was intimidated by the lawyers. He was intimidated by everyone. Because this is Alan’s nature. Anybody that had any knowledge of this man would have known this was his nature, he’s timid. So don’t be timid - this is your life. You’re going away - you’re going to jail, unless you speak up.

So if you’re arrested first thing you do is shut your mouth until you get a lawyer. No matter what don’t say another word. As soon as those Miranda rights are read don’t say another word. Alan should have called his mother-in-law. He should have picked up that phone and say, “Help, I’m in trouble.” Alan didn’t have any family left to fall back on. His family couldn’t help him.

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