How has Alan’s incarceration impacted your family?

This has had a tremendous impact on my family. It’s had an impact on the relationship between my sister and I and the relationship between my mother and my sister.

It’s had an impact on my nephews to a degree that I have always - I try to keep myself separated as I said before, because it breaks my heart. I think at night, every night before I go to bed - flashes go through my mind and I always have this little prayer. I tell Mark I love him. Which is my late father. I hope my mom’s okay. I hope my sister’s okay and oh my God when is Alan coming home?

You know that comes through my mind every single night and Alan may not know this because I don’t write him the way I should because I’m so afraid that when I write him all of my anger is going to come out to him and he doesn’t need that. He needs compassion and loving right now. It’s put a strain on my sister and my relationship. To a point where we’ve gotten better because it’s been a couple of years now.

What hand did you have in getting Becky and Alan married?

I am the one who suggested that they get married. After this happened and people are going to think, “Why?” Cause they got married a week or so after they knew that he might be going into prison. Why? Because you two love each other so much. You know and you’re willing to work through this problem. You got to get married now or you’re never getting married. It may not have started off on the best foot but I think Alan felt - well, no matter what happens between now and the time I’m in prison - when I come home I’ve got a wife that loves me.

How has Alan’s incarceration affected your sister?

Becky’s heart has been torn out. She’s been put through too much. I think it was the first six months we were down here without Alan, Becky had a nervous breakdown and had to go into a psychiatric hospital. For about a week she was there. Becky has always been tender emotionally. Well she’s strong and she’s tender at the same time. When she’s had enough - you know it. And she had enough and she ended up in the hospital.

And me with my busy life, I had to take care of the kids with my mom. My mom and Mark took care of the kids but I had them too. And it broke my heart because the kids didn’t know where daddy was. You know they just recently realized where daddy is. How can we explain why he’s not here? Why daddy’s not taking you to races. Why daddy’s not helping you out at school? Why is your mom sleeping alone? Did they split it up? You know, how can you explain to a kid that your dad’s in prison for doing this, this and this.

But there had to come a time when, you know, daddy’s in jail and you have to visit him. With them being down here they can only visit him once a year. I haven’t been able to visit him. I haven’t had the opportunity to go visit him. Alan doesn’t have any visitors there except for once a year. That’s why I wanted so hard for them to send him down to Georgia so he could be close to the family. So the kids could at least have some sort of connection with their father.

Becky’s picked herself up from where she’s been. I think she’s reached a spot in her life where she needs to go on with what’s happening in her world. You know the first year she’s on the Internet, she’s fighting, she’s writing letters, she’s making phone calls, she’s talking to lawyers. Trying to do anything to get some alternative sentence going on with Alan. All to no avail.

You know, he had a second lawyer who met him 40 minutes before going into court! Didn’t talk to him before hand. Nothing came of that. So I think what Becky did was she took all of this and she put it in a box and she put it over here. And she said I love my husband very much but it’s breaking my heart so much to fight so much and nobody will listen to me.

When I come down here on Saturday’s and Alan calls I always ask, “What’s going on up there? Have you talked to anybody? Are you going to talk to the warden? Have you talked to anybody?” And he’s like nobody wants to listen to me. So I get off the phone and I get angry with my sister. I’m like, “Why did you stop fighting? He’s going to think that you don’t love him anymore.” My sister and I get into this argument. "You’re just rolling over. Are you comfortable with your life now? Doesn’t it matter to you?" And that was the cruelest thing I could have ever said to her. But I was so angry. I hear from him maybe every three months - and it just sparks that anger in me.

But I think of all the stuff that my sister has done, has tried to do, and if I do anything it’s not going to matter. It’s only going to put more heartache into everything. So we’re going to have to wait and see if he gets out in three years or seven. Meanwhile he’s got two kids who are growing up without him and my sister is doing the best that she can. But it’s a team effort to raise those kids and she’s at her wits end a lot of the times to raise those kids.

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